Ask Me Another
3:48 pm
Thu May 2, 2013

A Purr-fect Game

Originally published on Fri May 3, 2013 6:52 am

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

On stage right now, we have Alexa Fields and Michael Haskell.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Hello, Michael.

MICHAEL HASKELL: Hello.

EISENBERG: Like many of our contestants, you are really into Dungeons and Dragons.

HASKELL: I assume all of them.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: All of them. And you've been even playing one game for about eight years.

HASKELL: Nine.

EISENBERG: Nine.

HASKELL: Ninish.

EISENBERG: Yeah, okay. If you could have any D&D monster as a pet, which one would it be?

(LAUGHTER)

HASKELL: Go on.

EISENBERG: Yeah, which one would it be? Which one would you like to have as a pet?

HASKELL: Bullywug.

EISENBERG: Okay, can you describe bullywug to...

HASKELL: Frog men with spears, but cool, but cool, but cool.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Sure. Alexa, do you understand what that whole conversation was about? Do you play D&D?

ALEXA FIELDS: I do.

EISENBERG: Wow, look at that.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Do you have a favorite monster from D&D that you would like to have as a pet?

FIELDS: Oh, I'm afraid I don't.

(LAUGHTER)

HASKELL: Bullywug.

FIELDS: I'm perfectly happy with just my cat.

EISENBERG: It's hard to know who's cooler right now, isn't it?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Our next game is called A Purr-fect Game. Sounds punny, Jonathan.

JONATHAN COULTON: I don't know why you would think it sounds punny. But, yes, you are right. This game is purr-fect because every correct answer will have an animal sound in it. To help you out, we will name the appropriate animal in the clue. For example, if I ask, "Larry Bird's 140-character blurb was so funny, you shared it with your friends by doing this." You would say re-tweet.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: We have offended at least one person. So you see Larry Bird, it has the word bird in it and then it's re-tweet, which is an animal sound. You get what's happening, right? Okay, here we go. If a cow wore this piece of fad jewelry, its gem might turn black after a stressful day of milking, or blue when she's enjoying a nice graze.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Michael?

HASKELL: Mood ring.

EISENBERG: Can you say it with the animal sound?

(LAUGHTER)

HASKELL: Mooo ring.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: That is right. This astronaut was as busy as a bee while trying to land on the Sea of Tranquility with Neil Armstrong.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Alexa?

FIELDS: Buzz Aldrin.

COULTON: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: On this classic children's show, the postman, Mr. McFeely often made special deliveries like saddles or lucky horseshoes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Michael?

HASKELL: Humbug.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Alexa?

FIELDS: Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.

COULTON: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: I admire your commitment to theater. That's fantastic. This eventful decade began with frolicking flappers and ended in financial ruin, and featured the first appearance of MGM's Leo the Lion.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Michael?

HASKELL: Roaring Twenties.

COULTON: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I like how we've inadvertently made another level of competition we've added.

COULTON: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: This word is defined as wordy and generally unintelligible jargon, like a turkey trying to recite Shakespeare.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Michael?

HASKELL: Gobbledygook.

COULTON: Yes. That's the worst turkey I've heard, but yes, that's right.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: While watching "Lassie" on your home entertainment system, this large speaker might provide some serious bass for the dog's barks.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Michael?

HASKELL: Woofer.

COULTON: Yes. Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: We were actually looking for subwoofer, but I will accept woofer.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: The pigeons swooned when this CNN anchor walked around Haiti in a tight fitting t-shirt that highlighted his white hair.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Alexa?

FIELDS: Anderson Cooper.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Very good.

EISENBERG: That was beautiful, Alexa. Well, it looks like Michael won this round. Congratulations. Michael, you'll be moving on to the Ask Me One More final round.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Thank you so much, Alexa. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.