Sandwich Monday: The Deep-Fried Grilled Cheese
Improving the classics is not an easy task. I, for one, have for years been trying to add a kickstand to my burritos to make them stand upright, but the technical challenges prove insurmountable. Big & Littles in Chicago has done better with its update to the grilled cheese, however: It battered and deep-fried it.
Robert: All I need is a bowl of deep-fried tomato soup and it's a complete meal.
Miles: It's beer-battered, so everyone be prepared for me to call in sick tomorrow with a grilled-cheese hangover.
Peter: It's breaded bread, and it's delicious. Why not go for the gusto, and bread the breaded bread?
Ian: Its protective shell has done nothing to save it from predators (me).
Ian: You could probably deep-fry racism and for a minute I'd be like, you know, racism isn't that bad.
Peter: If we're going to be deep-frying the delicious foods of my childhood, when do we get to the Spaghetti-Os?
Miles: This has all the allure of the doughnut, without the disappointment of a hole.
Peter: In a truly perfect world, we'd be able to dive into the deep fryer and just eat it in there.
Ian: It's probably never actually grilled, right? So technically it should be called "deep-fried cheese," but I guess they wanted to distinguish it from the most perfect thing in the universe.
Seth: Do you think there's no regular grilled cheese on the menu because it just got too intimidated and removed itself?
Robert: I always heard that Wisconsin hated Illinois — but I never expected such a cunning form of murder.
Miles: So, this is a beer-battered, deep-fried grilled cheese. It's like we're eating America.
Ian: A great way to celebrate your last Fourth of July.
[The verdict: It's something good, deep-fried, which automatically makes it something great. Amazingly, it holds on to a bit of that classic grilled cheese flavor through all the breading.]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at
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