The Salt
12:08 pm
Mon May 5, 2014

Sandwich Monday: The Wonut

Originally published on Mon May 12, 2014 2:29 pm

First, there was the cronut, the croissant-doughnut hybrid. Then there was the doughscuit. Then, the Liger. And now, there is the wonut, a waffle-doughnut hybrid from Waffles Cafe in Chicago. We ordered ours in Tiramisu flavor — that's those little speckles on top. (In case you were thinking, "Wait, it's topped with Dippin' Dots? All my dreams have come true!")

Ian: If its dad was a waffle and its mom was a donut, what box does it check on the Breakfast Census?

Eva: This is what's known as a Delicious-Blood in Harry Potter.

Miles: This causes all other donuts to become woe-nuts.

Ian: That's also the name of that emotion uniquely felt by neutered dogs.

Robert: Before he lost all that weight, Garrison Keillor was calling his mythical town Lake Wobenuts.

Eva: "Wonut is me" is from Shakespeare's unpublished play, Fat Hamlet.

Miles: You know, the three witches in Macbeth were just surrounding a cauldron filled with hot oil.

Peter: Can't wait for the new hybrid, Much Ado-nuts about Nothing!

Ian: I guess if chicken and waffles is the thing, we should probably start turducken and wonuts.

Miles: So, we've had cronuts, doughscuits, and wonuts. I can't wait to try the nonut, which is just deep-fried air.

[The verdict: tasty, but not knock-your-socks-off good like these new doughnut hybrids need to be. Plus, the waffle shape is troublesome because we traditionally considered the hole in the middle of the doughnut to be a quick healthy eating break before we got to the other side.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

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