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Ask Me Another
Thu February 14, 2013
Originally published on Fri February 15, 2013 7:54 am
OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:
Audience, this is what we've all been waiting for. It's our Ask Me One More final round. This final elimination round will determine this week's ASK ME ANOTHER champion. So let's bring back the winners from all of our previous rounds.
EISENBERG: From "Happy and You Know it" we have Brice Gaillard. From "Forward and Backwards" Ken Stern. "Down at Downton Abbey," Tom Miller and "Spot the Mistakes" Sam Meyer.
EISENBERG: So this game is called "SAT Analogies." You know John, being Canadian has a lot of advantages.
JOHN CHANESKI: Name one.
EISENBERG: Universal Healthcare.
CHANESKI: Yeah that's, that's one.
EISENBERG: Moose running free.
CHANESKI: OK, I just said one.
EISENBERG: You can date Mounties. And you don't have to take the SAT. Most important. Doesn't matter. Nope.
CHANESKI: Well for many high school seniors...
CHANESKI: ...the worst part of the SATs were the analogies. Now these questions generally took the form, a stop sign is to red as a yield sign is to what? You'd have to figure out that, since a stop sign is colored red and a yield sign is colored yellow, the answer would be yellow.
EISENBERG: And then you get to go to college with that.
CHANESKI: Then you go.
EISENBERG: That's it, done.
CHANESKI: Anyway, we've decided to try our hand at our own analogies. Spanning everything from literature and science to history and pop culture. We're throwing in the kitchen sink here. For example, Ophira, one is to George Washington as 50 is to?
EISENBERG: Ulysses S. Grant.
CHANESKI: Yes, very good.
EISENBERG: Very good.
CHANESKI: Contestants. You only have a few seconds to give us an answer. We're planning this spelling bee style. If you get one answer wrong, you're out. Last person standing is this week's grand winner. OK, here we go. Brice. Deep dish pizza is to Chicago as cheese steak is to?
BRICE GAILLARD: Philadelphia.
CHANESKI: Ken. Triple word score is to scrabble as community chest is to?
KEN STERN: Monopoly.
CHANESKI: That's right.
CHANESKI: Tom. Astronauts are to the United States as cosmonauts are to?
TOM MILLER: USSR.
CHANESKI: Sam. Wheaties are to the color orange as Rice Krispies are to the color?
SAM MEYER: Blue.
CHANESKI: Yes that's right.
CHANESKI: Box color. Very good. Brice. Frappuchino is to Starbucks as Coolatta is to? Three seconds.
GAILLARD: Oh. 7/11.
CHANESKI: Let's see if Ken knows it. Shh audience. Ken?
STERN: Dunkin' Donuts?
CHANESKI: Dunkin' Donuts is right.
CHANESKI: Tom. Kid is to goat as signet is to?
CHANESKI: Not squid.
CHANESKI: Let's try Sam.
CHANESKI: Swan is right.
CHANESKI: Thank you Sam. Ken. Deadheads are to the Grateful Dead as Parrotheads are to?
STERN: Jimmy Buffett.
CHANESKI: Jimmy Buffett is right.
CHANESKI: Not Warren Buffet, no. Sam. South Sudan is to Sudan as Slovakia is to?
MEYER: The Czech Republic.
CHANESKI: Czech Republic is right.
CHANESKI: Good. Ken. John F. Kennedy is to Lyndon Johnson as William McKinley is to?
CHANESKI: That's right. Which one?
STERN: Theodore Roosevelt.
CHANESKI: That's right.
CHANESKI: Won't let you get away with that. Sorry. Sam. US Army Special Forces are to Green Berets as The Shriners are to?
MEYER: The Masons.
CHANESKI: No. Ken. US Army Special Forces are to Green Berets as The Shriners are to?
CHANESKI: Red Fez's is right.
CHANESKI: Way to go. Our winner today is Ken Stern.
EISENBERG: Ken Stern, our grand prize winner. We are going to bring back Baratunde Thurston to the stage to explain to you what your special grand prize is. Baratunde.
BARATUNDE THURSTON: Congratulations Ken. I am very excited to present you with a black pack.
THURSTON: Oh. Here's what you get. You get a "How To Be Black" mug.
THURSTON: Got a - No cream allowed inside.
THURSTON: You get a hoodie. Right.
THURSTON: You get a special albino edition of the book.
THURSTON: Racial profiling at its finest. And you get this very limited, non purchasable item, the black card.
THURSTON: And, the way it works is, it gets you some privileges. You're in a racial argument, you slam the card on the table, you win.
THURSTON: You want access to the White House, it works 24/7, as long as there's a black President.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER: Whoa.
THURSTON: And you're declared official friend of black people.
THURSTON: Welcome to the family Ken.
EISENBERG: That is a prize. Thank you once again to our mystery guest, Baratunde Thurston, for providing fun, interview and the black pack.
EISENBERG: And Ken Stern for being our grand prize winner for ASK ME ANOTHER.
Well that's it for ASK ME ANOTHER, but if you still need more and I know you do, you can find us and a bunch of clues we didn't get to, anytime you feel like it. On Facebook and Twitter. Just look around for NPR ASK ME ANOTHER.
(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.